Mr. One Riddles


1.         Q:  What do they call Mr. One, his wife and family?

            A:  The FIRST family.

2.         Q:  What do you call a letter written by Mrs. One to Mr. One? 

            A:  A One-to-One correspondence.


3.         Q:  Why did Mr. One join the Air Force?


            A:  He wanted to become Air Force One.


4.         Q:  What was Mr. One called before he married Mrs. One?


            A:  The One and only One.


5.         Q:  Why did Mr. One stay home from school?


            A:  He had mono.


6.         Q:  What song does Mr. One like Mrs. One to sing to him?


            A:  "You're Still the One".

7.         Q:  Were ALL of Mr. One's children good at sports? 

            A:  No, just the wee-Ones.

8.         Q:  Why wouldn't Mr. One let his children fly with him? 

            A:  He could only fly solo.

9.         Q:  Where did Mr. One meet Mrs. One? 

            A:  In a singles club.

10.       Q:  Does Mr. One throw any ringers when he plays horseshoes? 

            A:  No, he only gets close.

11.       Q:  What position did Mr. One play on his high school football team? 

            A:  He was the extra point kicker.

12.       Q:  What position did Mr. One play on his high school baseball team? 

            A:  He was the pitcher.

13.       Q:  What was Mr. One's favorite pitch? 

            A:  Fastball.

14.       Q:  Why did Mr. One's teachers all think that he was perfect? 

            A:  He got 100% (= 1 as a decimal) on every assignment.

15.       Q:  Where does Mr. One live? 

            A:  On the 9-Bar ranch.

16.       Q:  If Mr. One goes by 0.999..., who goes by 0.4999...? 

            A:  Mrs. One, his better half.

17.       Q:  What is Mr. One's favorite movie? 

            A:  "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest".

18.       Q:  Why did Mrs. One marry Mr. One instead of someOne else? 

            A:  She knew that he was the right One.

19.       Q:  What is Mr. One's favorite mode of transportation? 

            A:  A unicycle.

20.       Q:  How does Mr. One live his life? 

            A:  One day at a time.

21.       Q:  Who is Mr. One's nearest neighbor? 

            A:  Mr. Decimal Point.

22.       Q:  Why is Mr. One always constipated? 

            A:  He can't do number two.

23.       Q:  Why does Mr. One always try to do his best? 

            A:  If he didn't, he would be just a big Zero.

24.       Q:  What was Mr. One's rank in the navy? 

            A:  He was First Mate.

25.       Q:  What is Mr. One's first name? 

            A:  First.

26.       Q:  What was Mr. One called after he quit his substitute teaching job? 

            A:  X1

27.       Q:  What does Mr. One always see the glass as half-full? 

            A:  He doesn't want to be Negative One.

28.       Q:  Why didn't Mr. One want to be put in the witness protection program? 

            A:  He didn't want to lose his identity.

29.       Q:  Why won't the lottery commission let Mr. One play their games? 

            A:  No matter how hard they make their games, he would be the one-in-a-million person who would win.

30.       Q:  What is Mr. One's favorite alias when he does binary arithmetic? 

            A:  0.11111...

31.       Q:  Is Mr. One a twin? 

            A:  Absolutely not.  No One is like Mr. One.

32.       Q:  What happens when Mr. One gets hit by a truck? 

            A:  Another One bites the dust.  (Contributed by students Sarah Kant and Miranda Lewis)

33.       Q:  Why is Mr. One considered as a superhero? 

            A:  Because he has so many powers.  (Contributed by student Ross Crowley)


Meet my assistant, Mr. One.  He is a master of disguise.  Some disguises he has used in my classroom are shown below. 


Not only is Mr. One a valuable colleague, he has the sense of humor of a true mathematician.  You might enjoy some of the riddles he has created for my classroom.  They are guaranteed to get groans.

©2011 by College Graphs