Mr. One Riddles
1. Q: What do they call Mr. One, his wife and family?
A: The FIRST family.
2. Q: What do you call a letter written by Mrs. One to Mr. One?
A: A One-to-One correspondence.
3. Q: Why did Mr. One join the Air Force?
A: He wanted to become Air Force One.
4. Q: What was Mr. One called before he married Mrs. One?
A: The One and only One.
5. Q: Why did Mr. One stay home from school?
A: He had mono.
6. Q: What song does Mr. One like Mrs. One to sing to him?
A: "You're Still the One".
7. Q: Were ALL of Mr. One's children good at sports?
A: No, just the wee-Ones.
8. Q: Why wouldn't Mr. One let his children fly with him?
A: He could only fly solo.
9. Q: Where did Mr. One meet Mrs. One?
A: In a singles club.
10. Q: Does Mr. One throw any ringers when he plays horseshoes?
A: No, he only gets close.
11. Q: What position did Mr. One play on his high school football team?
A: He was the extra point kicker.
12. Q: What position did Mr. One play on his high school baseball team?
A: He was the pitcher.
13. Q: What was Mr. One's favorite pitch?
14. Q: Why did Mr. One's teachers all think that he was perfect?
A: He got 100% (= 1 as a decimal) on every assignment.
15. Q: Where does Mr. One live?
A: On the 9-Bar ranch.
16. Q: If Mr. One goes by 0.999..., who goes by 0.4999...?
A: Mrs. One, his better half.
17. Q: What is Mr. One's favorite movie?
A: "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest".
18. Q: Why did Mrs. One marry Mr. One instead of someOne else?
A: She knew that he was the right One.
19. Q: What is Mr. One's favorite mode of transportation?
A: A unicycle.
20. Q: How does Mr. One live his life?
A: One day at a time.
21. Q: Who is Mr. One's nearest neighbor?
A: Mr. Decimal Point.
22. Q: Why is Mr. One always constipated?
A: He can't do number two.
23. Q: Why does Mr. One always try to do his best?
A: If he didn't, he would be just a big Zero.
24. Q: What was Mr. One's rank in the navy?
A: He was First Mate.
25. Q: What is Mr. One's first name?
26. Q: What was Mr. One called after he quit his substitute teaching job?
27. Q: What does Mr. One always see the glass as half-full?
A: He doesn't want to be Negative One.
28. Q: Why didn't Mr. One want to be put in the witness protection program?
A: He didn't want to lose his identity.
29. Q: Why won't the lottery commission let Mr. One play their games?
A: No matter how hard they make their games, he would be the one-in-a-million person who would win.
30. Q: What is Mr. One's favorite alias when he does binary arithmetic?
31. Q: Is Mr. One a twin?
A: Absolutely not. No One is like Mr. One.
32. Q: What happens when Mr. One gets hit by a truck?
A: Another One bites the dust. (Contributed by students Sarah Kant and Miranda Lewis)
33. Q: Why is Mr. One considered as a superhero?
A: Because he has so many powers. (Contributed by student Ross Crowley)